Great Piggie Hunt II - Jedi Master Dory

A long time ago, in a kids room not so far away…lives a seemingly normal hamster that continues to amaze and delight the family of the vessel Inagua 2320, in the Subsystem Winter Park of the Galaxy Floree’da. Dory is her name and escape is her game.

Since our last encounter with Dory, we’ve found her means of escaping from her domicile. We quickly remedied this by taping the said area so that she couldn’t use it like the Birdman of Alcatraz to run the halls of our home. Or so we thought. One can only assume that this cute little fury friend is at one with the Force. No other explanation could exist. Without visual effects, I can only illustrate through this short tale of our family pet and her most recent adventures.

Dory, using the Jedi Force Push, lifts and throws the exercise wheel and tube attachment from the top of her cage, leaving a gaping hole for escape. “Tape matters not”, she says, and begins to climb her way out of her cage. Balanced high atop Josh’s dresser, Dory Force Jumps to the floor and runs, top speed, to the location of the Cat Monsters feeding grounds.

The first Cat she encounters is O’Malley, the male. As is typical, O’Malley is cozied up in his kitty bed near the front windows and has no idea Dory is lurking about. O’Malley saws California Redwood trees while sleeping, and thus couldn’t hear a legion of hamsters walking through the house. She is safe for the moment.

Onward to the feeding grounds. The journey is long and treacherous. The sun is beginning to rise and the Giant humans are waking from their slumber. She hides in a small crevice near the feeding grounds and waits patiently for her chance to move when suddenly the Red Alert sirens go off. They’ve discovered her missing! She sees the humans running frantically to and from looking for any sign of her. The eldest human sighs and resigns himself to the fact that she’s either been eaten or is hiding in a new place. The kids and the eldest leave the home and all is quiet again.

Dory emerges and creeps to the feeding ground. Silently she spots the two female Cats and uses her Jedi Mind Trick to fool them into not seeing her. “See me, you do not”, she whispers and she waves her little paw. Success! The Cats are indifferent to her presence. The weak minded are so easily fooled. The food in the feeding ground is all but hers!!! She begins to stuff large amounts of food into her cheeks for the journey back. As she’s about to finish, she feels the ground tremble. Slowly she turns.

There, towering high above her is the lady of the house. She freezes for what seems an eternity before pulling herself together. She waves her paw, “See me, you do not”. Nothing happens. The human smiles. Again, “See me, you do not!!” as she concentrates with all her might. The human’s will is too strong. The Jedi Mind Trick isn’t working. The human bends to swoop her up and cradles her in her hands.

“I don’t know how you do it Dory, but you’ve got to stop getting out. The cats are going to get you and your luck will run out.”, the human says as she places her back into her cage.

“Fat chance”, Dory mumbles. “Those walking carpets couldn’t see catnip if it were hanging from their necks”.

We fully expect another escape attempt and are currently looking for a maximum security facility. One that will be impossible to escape from. Even from the lightsaber Dory surely must be building, as she plans her next escape.