Bathroom Etiquette 101 - For Men

So first off I want to say that I look damn sharp today.  I feel good and I look good.  See?  Even a fat guy can be handsome.  Next, I want to get into something that bothers the crap out of me and that's Bathroom Etiquette.  This one is especially dedicated to the men out there, but some of them may apply to you gals too.  Ready?  Here we go...

First things first.  I don't care how manly you, when there is more than one urinal open, take the one farthest from the guy who is already peeing.  That's AT LEAST one urinal over from the guy who is already doing his business.  If possible, leave another urinal available for the next guy, but under no circumstances do you stand right next to each other.  No one wants to see/hear your junk and we don't want you looking at ours.  This isn't peek-a-boo, this is business.

If, for any reason there are no urinals available, or you cannot use the "rule of one space", proceed to the next available stall.  That's right, pee in the bowl like a big boy.  No one will laugh at you.  Close the door if you're really conscious about it.  And please make sure you aim correctly.  Bring Cheerios if you need to and aim for those, but don't leave a mess for the clean up crew or worse, the next guy using the stall behind you.  It's gross and it makes you an asshole.

Speaking of stalls, remember that this isn't your personal confession booth.  We don't need to hear your phone calls to your darling wife or girlfriend and it's a bit unnerving that you'd call them from the bathroom anyway.  And *Newsflash* the stalls aren't sound proof.  We can hear your grunts and groans and while sometimes it's understandable, please keep it down.  It's bad enough we have to hear your Taco Tuesday flashback, we don't need a play by play of that hard to push poop.  And for God's sakes, FLUSH that puppy!!  We're not comparing lunch menus in here.

Moving along to our most important tip of all; hygiene.  Wash your hands people, even if you just came in to pee, you touched yourself and I don't care how clean you think you are, I don't want to go putting my hands on the door knob after you've just finished a round of pocket pool.  More importantly, washing after a poo.  That's right, you aren't the crafty wiper you think your are.  Unless you've got a surgical glove you keep for these occasions, make sure you do us all a favor and wash up before grabbing the exit door.  It just keeps us all a little bit healthier.

That's my public service announcement for the day.  Follow these simple guidelines and you'll make the public restroom a much better place for all of us.

Tick, Tick, Tap

Ugh Monday.  Back at work and listening to the incessant tick and tap of fingers on keyboards.  For whatever reason, I can't find my focus today.  I feel like I've been hit with a sledgehammer and I'm just two stars short of a full circle around my head.  I'm ready to just kick back and pass out so I'm loading up on caffeine today.

So I posted something on facecrack today about finding a minute to mediate.  The method seems to work so I've been trying to use it and wanted to share it for others.  Just not today, which is why my post is rambling.

Anyway, on my drive in to work this morning I started thinking about some of my favorite things; music, photography, boobs, books, movies and not necessarily in that order.  More importantly, why I'm not able to find any peace in doing things that make me happy.  I've read book about it, been to a shrink about it and seen a therapist about it...still no love. It's like I've hit a roadblock where my mind wants some escape, but but my body just won't let it climb out.

So in an effort to get the creative juices flowing, I'm trying to write something, every day if possible, but at least twice a week.  At least my therapist agrees that if I do this, it might work out the kinks in my brain and slowly ease me out of this deep freaking depression that I can't shake.  It also helps that a close friend made me this awesome journal to write in as well.

Let's start there shall we, because I'm about as sick writing that word as I am feeling the associated "Debbie Downer" moods that go with it.  Depression.  It sucks and I'm more tired of it than anyone can possibly stand.  It takes your energy, your love of things, life itself and just stomps the shit out of it.  It's been a couple years now since my Dad, Uncle and Cousin passed all in rapid succession.  So why can't I get BEYOND all of that?  What the hell is holding me down that I just can't get past?  Slowly, it's releasing it's hold over me, but there are just these remnants that are stifling me and I'm beyond being over all of it.

Starting today, it ends.  I'm done with it.  Come hell or high water, I will not allow this thing to consume anymore of my precious life I have left here on Earth.  I may not know exactly how, but I'm kicking the shit out of this thing and getting on with being me again.  I think this coincides with my decision on Sunday to never buy another 3x article of clothing in my life ever again.  It all just happens to be on this "Spring Forward" weekend that I came to this decision to stop screwing around and get my shit in order.  Maybe I needed that fresh change in the time and the crisp cool weather to slap me in the face.  Maybe it was the awesome night out with friends and the wife.  Maybe I'm just over that hill in the slump and I'm on my way to recovery.  Moreso, I think it's been the wonderful support of my family and friends.

I've been eating better, less and more conscience of what goes into my pie hole.  I've been exercising and walking to the point that my poor arthritic knee thinks I'm out of my freaking mind.  I've been reading more and sleeping less.  But that was just the beginning.  Big Papa's got a brand new bag of tricks now and it's about to get ugly up in here.  By this time next year I plan to be lighter, happier and funnier than ever.  I plan to be me again.

There has just come a point to where I can't do this anymore.  I can not be without "me" and live my life.  I'm tired of people feeling sorry for me.  I'm tired of having no ambition.  I'm tired of feeling like I've been beat to death emotionally.  I'm tired of being tired.

Bring it on.

Red

Today I'm going to post with fewer words and some images.  Nothing special or particular about the color red, or the images.  Just a color that stood out to me today and some quick snaps I took to capture them.

I kind of liked this exercise so I may do it more in the future with different colors throughout the week.

And a small quote about writing that mentions the color red to round things out.

"The only advice I can give to aspiring writers is don't do it unless you're willing to give your whole life to it. Red wine and garlic also helps."
~Jim Harrison 

Places...

Places is an exercise in defining the perfect place for me. Where I want to be, spiritually, financially, and physically.  So today I'm going to take a little journey and lay the ground work.

Spiritually, I'm lost.  I thought I knew what I believed and why, but all of that has recently been challenged in the past couple of years.  I am no longer sure about afterlife's and living against a certain set of preordained rules.  All I do know is that I'm here, I can make a difference for myself and others and that I do things (my actions) are centered around doing good for the sake of being the person I want to be treated as.  I don't live my life as in I may burn in hell for not doing certain things or living a certain way, but rather I live like the universe as a whole gives and takes from us, only what we give or take from it.

Is that to say I don't believe in a God?  No, not necessarily.  I do believe in some higher being, but I don't believe he's puppetting us around like dolls on strings.  I don't believe my destiny is selected for me; I believe I make my own destiny with the decisions I make and each path is new and unexplored until I make those choices.  I have no ill will to people who believe in one thing or another.  I don't try to convert them and ask they respect the same wish from me.  I just choose to believe that we are all here in this universe together, making our own way, learning as we go.  Some choose to find comfort in religious methods; I simply find comfort in the world around me.  I could write two blogs to cover all this content so I'll stop here and get on with it.

Financially, I'm OK. I'm not great, I'm not rich but I'm also not poor.  I have a roof over my head, we survive with food, water, heat, and other luxuries some do not have.  For that, I consider myself fortunate and never complain.  Sure we'd all like to be better off, never worrying about this thing or that when it comes to finances.  Realistically though, most of us will just "get by" in life and that's OK for me.  I have started researching things for my future such as investing and retirement, but even there, I'm not looking to be a millionaire.  I just want to be comfortable within my own home with my family surrounding me.  That is both spiritually and financially satisfying.

Physically, I'm out of shape and I need to do something about it.  A good friend of mine said the most important 5 words I've heard from anyone about my weight and my physical being; "You are now a statistic."
Plain and simple.  No malice, or intent.  Just simply that I have become a statistic like so many other Americans today.  I'm over weight, have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, migraines, and at just 40 years of age, low testosterone and osteoarthritis.  I'm the poster child for how not to be healthy.  I can blame it on a lot of things, depression mostly, but what good does that do?  It just delays the inevitable; a slow but early death.  It hurts to type that.  It hurts to re-read it. But the truth does hurt and sometimes it takes pain to get motivated.  I'm doing what I can to make a difference in my life in more ways than one, but becoming healthier is a number one for me now.  I have kids that I need to see grow up and I expect to be a damn good grandfather one day.  I have to make those changes or I'll never live to see it happen.

One of these days, I'd like to move out of Florida.  Simply put, I hate the state, the weather, everything about it.  I'd like to live in the mountains somewhere in my future, but still be close enough to the beach to see the ocean once in a while.  I mention this because I think it fits within the physical category as well.  Your surroundings have to be pleasant and calming or you will never find peace within yourself.  Right now, I can find only so much peace.  It may be enough, but the mountains call to me every year and each year it gets stronger and harder to resist.  So, at some point, when I've straightened out other aspects of my life, I plan to make a life changing move to somewhere more peaceful.

These are the places I'm going.