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This post will be less of a fun read because as of late, I've been feeling a bit down. To be honest, it's been more like 2 years straight, but I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. The problem is, I don't know how to get out of this funk. I've been to a counselor, a psych, talked to friends and family and I've been on drugs to help enhance my mood. Nothing seems to be working.
But I mentioned a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm feeling better, just still not "me". I want to do things that I enjoy, but when I set out to do them, I have no interest. Nothing lately brings me any joy or contentment. It's a shitty place to be in, I can tell you that. Still, it gets a little better every day. For instance, I haven't felt like writing in a long time and have a look at me now! Yay. That's simply because I'm tired of being this way and I want out, so I'm having to force myself to do things, even when I don't feel like it.
A good friend of mine has been giving me insight in how to start turning things around and it's working. It's a simple little thing really; Be positive/Receive Positive. It's how the universe works and skeptics can check their hat at the door, cause I've seen it working first hand. Your outlook on life really does change the way universe receives you and gives back to you.
For instance, the other day I was working on a problem at work. Long story short, a computer I was working on was giving me fits about installing a new OS. I tried all the tricks in my book and I was frustrated beyond belief. I walked a way for a few minutes, came back and said out loud, "Enough of this crap dammit! You're going to work this time." Well, it worked. Why? Because I came back with a positive reinforcement. I did nothing different from the numerous other attempts before. I just choose to stop letting it affect me negatively and turned it around. There are other instances but I think you get the idea.
The hard part, is being this way every day. Some days I'm hit with the depression so hard first thing in the morning, that it's difficult to change over to a positive outlook. But I'm trying and that's what's making things better for me. It's a slow, sometimes painful process, but I'm getting there. Hell I'm talking and writing about it so that shows some improvement anyway.
The take-away here kids, is to not give up and keep at it. Be positive, think positive and positive things will come to you. It's really that simple.
Hopefully you'll see me back at it and up to my old stuff again soon. Peace.
